Well, this was unexpected… SpaceX has added two new items to its online store, and I’ve never been more tempted to buy them. For pre-sale only, you can give the company your hard-earned cash for a large torch in the shape of Starship.
You know you want it
Monday, SpaceX attempted to launch its first fully integrated Starship rocket out of Starbase, Texas. However, the launch was scrubbed due to issues with its pressurization system in the Super Heavy booster. Don’t worry, though. SpaceX has the endorphin kick you need to reach the next launch attempt on Thursday.
The first product matches the other crazy items sold at Elon Musk’s other companies, a Starship Torch. A 1:200 scale model of Starship with a butane torch concealed inside, and of course, the flame comes out of the engine side. Here is how SpaceX describes it.
The man in black, Johnny Cash knew a thing or two about burning desire. But love isn’t the only thing that burns. Sometimes you just want to caramelize the sugar on a crème brûlée or melt some cheese without all the subtext. Enter the Starship Torch.
Designed to generate a windproof flame worthy of its namesake, the handheld Starship Torch will make easy work of searing anything from steak to meringue. Outside of the kitchen, fire up Starship to light candles or your fireplace. Who needs weak matches when you’ve got the power of Starship in your hands?
When not in use, activate the safety lock and your torch transforms into a bad-ass 1:200 scale model of SpaceX’s Starship spacecraft fit for display.
It’s collectible. It’s functional. And it burns, burns, burns. The Starship Torch.
If you don’t want a Starship model that doubles as the perfect fire starter, SpaceX is also selling a 1:150 chrome rocket model. Coming in at 13″ tall and metal plated, this one is probably a little more suited for the younger SpaceX fans you might know.
Coming Q3 2023
Both objects are up for pre-sale, meaning you can buy them, but they won’t be shipping until later this year. Right now, SpaceX’s store only says “Liftoff Q3 2023.” So no earlier than July if we’re using launch talk.
The Starship Torch will set you back $175 plus tax and shipping, and the chrome model is a bit more at $300.
Did I buy one? Yes. Will I tell you which one? No.
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